Ken's Page

.....be unhappy. You deserve it. You work for it, you think you deserve it and you do. You are lazy, self serving, ego maniacs. Can't take the time to see any good in life? God bless you and kiss my cracker ass. You want to cry and whine about life not treating you fair, well fuck you..........lay down and die. Don't waste my good air breathing. If you live long enough, something will happen to break your heart. You'll get sick or someone you love will get sick, but that don't mean life stops. It can if you let it. And if that is what you want , quit trying and give up. But don't try and be some self righteous, all knowing, all seeing guru of life, you're a quitter, plain and simple.

...............or Gutrumbles Stumbles........................but he aint down. Regrouping and rethinking, but he aint down......... I've known Rob for almost 40 years. He was too small to be an impact player on the football team, but he was. To ugly to be an entertainer in the music industry, but he was. Not street smart enough to lead hard core factory workers, but he did. Not savvy enough to survive lifes shit sandwiches, but he has. One thing he aint and I don't think he can be.........................is a quitter! A lot of people seem to be celebrating his demise. Stay tuned for his return............... he will be back! One thing I did not know about the old fart, ................turns out he may have a sensitive side. Hard to believe and old hard ass will let a few uncomplementing comments change his course.............. I don't think so. Anyway, I was just pondering, how people like to see blood and guts spilling all over lifes highway............................ When those people have lived long enough, they will have experienced some of lifes semi-trucks running their asses down..............When you see that undercarriage of that big ole truck running you over, take heart and be comforted. Acidman made it so can you.

I guess it is age. I have everything I desire. Never thought I would be able to say that! My kids are ok, my grand kids are beautiful. I have found a woman to live life with. I can hug my dads neck, tell my mom Iove her and tell my ornery friends I love them too! Does it get any better?

Friday was a wonderful day for Barbara and I. We exchanged vows at Jekyll Island. I thought that Recondo32 (Rick) and Georgia would be there and Eric and Fiona from( http://straightwhiteguy.com/ ) ; I knew Barbara's daughter would be there, I had doubts about my bitter friend Rob( http://gutrumbles.com/ ), but even he took time to share our happy moment with us. The amazing thing was all the other bloggers who took time out of their lives to help us celebrate. Bloggers really do rock! Hopefully I'll have the video digitized soon. A special thanks to Rick who took the time to find the vows he did. And to all the ladies, who I'll link later, you gals were wonderful!

Not as exciting as it sounded. We merely entered the country to refit a nuclear sub tender. We were exposed, to a lot of toxins. But we were young and the money was good. The first day we were working in a smoke stack, did I mention this was a WWII era sub tender. We needed to replace some steel, it was covered with asbestos insulation. The air filtration gear looked exactly like one of those masks the docs use...... G.I. issue, so I know it was adequate. I quickly found me another place to work...........................in the fuel cell, it also needing some welding repairs (oh sheet)! Have you ever been in a fuel cell (that you accessed through the floor of sick bay), about 16 compartments into the cell and here " FIRE, FIRE, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, FIRE IN SICK BAY!" Talk about pucker factor, the baffles in the fuel cells were just large enough to squeeze through, I think I set a record getting out. I was high from the fuel fumes and I think I floated out. It was a trip!

Thirty something years ago, a group of young men, were sent into a foreign land on an illegal mission. As I reflect back on those days, I realize , it was a cost saving maneuver by an agency that shall remain unidentified. They were exposed to nuclear. biological and chemical agents, knowingly by this agency. Did I mention, no NBC gear was provided.

A guy comes up to a woman at the office and hetells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes to her supervisor to file a sexual harassment suit. The supervisor says, "What’s wrong with someone telling you that yourhair smells nice"? The woman replies, "he’s a midget".

And I lost! Now, what to do.

10 April 2005 8:14pm
I am not sure of who I am or who I want in my life. I have met and been with a most pleasant woman, the best woman I have known in awhile! (Maybe ever) I am afraid to ask! But I will, now!

Alot of my older friends, like to say it is to much trouble, at our age (50+) to have a relationship. Sometimes, like to day, I tend to agree. I am wondering, if, when you reach a certain age, does your ability to form new relationships dwindle? Are our expectations to high? Are we so entrenched in our behavior patterns that we cannot accept different behaviors? Today is one one of those days when I wish I did not give a shit about love or relationships. Maybe I blew it long ago, and missed the boat. Maybe, I am destined to not enjoy the feelings I so long for. F**k, sometimes I wish I'd been born a quitter instead of a thinker. lol It is difficult to live and know the mistakes you made. It is also difficult to try and change or accept the reality of what is. ROTFLMAS But it is true!

We will be exchanging vows at our little ceremony at Jekyl. The problem is I have not finished mine and there is less than a week to go! I like simple, I like loving, I like short ceremonies. I think I'll use the notepad and finish it.
We had a lovely day today, a garage sale day! We made $400, it was all old junk we did not use or did not want. If we have another good day tomorrow, Jekyl will be funded by a garage sale, aint that grand!

The Acidman http://gutrumbles.com/ Mr and Mrs Velociman http://www.velociworld.com/ Mr and Mrs StraightWhiteGuy http://straightwhiteguy.com/ The Dax man http://www.daxmontana.net/ http://parkwayreststop.com/ ;http://www.catfish.blog-city.com/ I know Recondo and Georgia will be there as will Barbie and Ken, Anybody else? lol

My mind seems to be slowing down, it has taken 3 days of pondering to come to these conclusions; no offence was intended, I am overly sensitive, I have the same concerns as the one who caused me to ponder for three days. Aint life grand!

I have been offended, yet I understand the offenders point of view. What does this mean, what is happening to me. Am I growing older and wiser? Am I afraid of confrontation? ROTFLMAO
At first I was truly offended and hurt by this person's opinion, as I begin to think and mull this situation over, I am thinking that I understand the other person's point of view. Shoot, aint getting older grand.
I must say, it was an older woman, who I have great respect for, that is the offender (read "Barbara's mother") and I am sure she did not intend to offend me personally. It will take a while for me to look at her in the same light. I hope I do not color our relationship because of this occurence.
Everything in life is personal to me. Every thought, every action, every day I live is very personal.
I guess I have crossed the border between youthful anxiety (being overly sensitive) and am beginng to mellow.

I made a mistake today, and went to clean my old home. I viewed some of the pictures, when times were good and life was unending, or so I thought. I was sad, the pictures were fresh in my mind, even though they were 20 years old. I saw a woman, that took me as I was, and loved me, she deserved better, but she loved me and I loved her.
I saw pictures of the kids when they were young, I saw pictures when we were younger, I saw smiles and I saw hope, for we knew that things would only get better! Well we lived a good life, and I am glad I knew her, she was beautiful. She was kind, caring and a loving woman. I did not deserve her, but she thought I was a good man.
She passed and I was lost. for she was truly the inspiration of my life, even more than my daughter, who I love so much. I think a man needs a good woman to help him along the way.
Maybe I am weak, I think not, but maybe. I have only found joy in my life when I had love. The love of a parent, the love of a spouse or a love of a child.
I am not afraid to say that, no, I am proud to say it.
I have been blessed again, with a good woman, who has had the same experiences, we have sought love and we have found love.
Seek and you shall find, if you want to be sad you will be. If you want to be happy and loved you will be!